I didn't think I had any poetry left in me. I was so many smiles on the outside, so many shards on the inside. Then you, with your art, with your poetry, found me. That ship of yours, floating wherever it was, found my shore. I thought I was an island, made of broken shells … Continue reading You Found Me
As far as conversations go, ones with Daz are always refreshing. Illuminating. They rescue me when I'm sinking. What adds an element of fun here, and which is why I never turn down an offer to meet the man, is that I am so easily in my element with him, my universe contracts to just the … Continue reading On The Future
The angst of an artist is the same as that of a scientist. The thirst for more never ceases. Imagination never ceases. The quest for building bigger and better masterpieces never ceases. But what if the creative genius or the brain of a brilliant scientist comes with an expiry? What if 30 is the age … Continue reading What If I’m Too Old Already?
Everyone looks at the beauty of the bloom. The visual, olfactory sensual being. They look at the makeup, the constitution, the appearance - all that makes for a sensory experience. I see that too. And then some. I look for the layers beneath. At the thorns hidden in the stalks. At the darker side. At … Continue reading On Beauty
Too many people at the same time exhaust me. Too much energy exhausts me. I am one of those who when asked what I do for fun, promptly reply, "I read." I am also one of those who reply quite confidently, "No, I don't like parties at all." The truth is I have always been … Continue reading The Introvert Factor
Sneaking around the house, after everyone has called it a night, is not without its risks. Here's what happens when you tip-toe around in the dead of the night. If you are me, you are certain to bump into furniture. Stubbing your toe is a given. Followed by an elbow or a shin hit. If … Continue reading Things That Happen When You Sneak About After Midnight
Day, Sunday. The rain, hard. My heart leaps in such weather. It craves for many things - long drives, steaming cups of coffee, the limbs of a lover intertwined with mine. But today I choose none of these. I gear myself in my windcheater instead, grab my phone and earphones and go out for a walk. … Continue reading What You Seek
Fair warning to the reader: Long rant ahead. About life. About non-life. Label it as me PMSing if you must, that is easily the most popular opinion/response I get on thoughts such as these. For others, if there are any such others, I’d love to hear from you if you have a differential diagnosis. I’ve … Continue reading On Existence that is the Same as Non-Existence
Your head is so consumed by thoughts that inactivity sets in. So you find an escape. By walking outdoors. By the sea front. In the rain. And what an experience! The rain kept beating at me incessantly and I kept going. The entire promenade empty, no one else daring to let the rain touch them. … Continue reading Letting the Rain Wash it All Away
So much going on. Not in the physical sense. Not in the external environment. But an upheaval of emotions inside me. A constant stream of thoughts that just won't stop. It is a combination of hurt and disappointment. Because the end came about. When I begin a story in my real life, I never imagine … Continue reading On Catharsis
The constant desire to be some place else lingers. On a hotel bed. Indulging in a foreign cuisine. Being inspired by strangers. Why does the mind not settle? Why does the existing not satiate? Why is there a desire to be larger than life, a bigger person than the one I already am? Why can't … Continue reading Always the Same Desires
Even though I have a hundred tabs open on my browser and my to-do list is lengthier than all the pages contained in the Odyssey, every once in a while I find myself stuck in a rut. Not from a lack of things to do, but from a lack of motivation to do them. Time and … Continue reading 10 Things to Do When You Can’t Figure What to Do
"Lately, I find myself out gazing at stars Hearing guitars, like someone in love Sometimes the things you do astound me Mostly whenever you are around me" ~ Diana Krall Here’s the thing about feelings – they are transitory. One moment you are sulking, feeling small and insignificant, and the next, you are joyous, believing … Continue reading How Do I Feel At the Moment?
I’m sitting at Starbucks with a bunch of ladies sitting on a table next to mine, with two young kids. A boy and a girl. Both around three. Or maybe they are two two-year-olds. I’m bad at guessing ages. So the children are cranky because their mothers and a grandmother are busy chatting. What is … Continue reading On Teaching Children to Read
Dear Parent, I know how important it is to you to see me happy. And you believe that me being married & having kids is the answer to that.I'd like to be married and make babies some day. But I can't tell you when that might happen or with whom or if it might happen … Continue reading An open letter to parents who keep pushing their kids to get married
Many a man has suffered in the pursuit of romance. And in the literary world, Humbert Humbert is among those who has suffered the most.
This was meant to be a handwritten letter. But then it began to run into too many pages. It is also meant to be a personal note, but I thought, there’s nothing like a public declaration of love. So here goes, to the one who said, “I’m yours forever”. I don’t remember what our first … Continue reading Dear S.B.
Charles Chu reads 200 books a year (here’s how he does it). I have people on my Goodreads list who read up to 300 books in the same amount of time. I, on the other hand, read about 50 in a year. Last year I read a measly 21. I know it isn't a numbers … Continue reading I Am Reading Too Slow
I’m a lover of history and everything historical, including history books. I picked this one up at some bookstore (now forgotten), out of curiosity. The subject appealed to me. It is about Shakespeare (whose books I have never read, no, not even in school/college), it is set in the 1600s, a favourite time-period when it comes … Continue reading 1606 by James Shapiro
July 5, 2016, was the best day of the year past. Because it was one of my worst birthdays ever. I turned 30, the half-mark goal of life (a conservative me pegs my life ending at 60), and I wanted it to be a day I remember. I was afraid that a pessimistic me would mope … Continue reading And the Mascara Stays On
My unhappiness does not stem from tragic or unsavoury situations alone. It also comes from me having a head over my shoulders. From me having a high IQ and high standards. From my ability to think about existential questions. From my potential to see through people in a matter of minutes. From my capacity to feel … Continue reading This Curse of Mine
If I have to pick a single word to describe the year that was - considering no major upsets or joys come my way in the one week that remains - 2016 has been all about introspection. There have been highs of the kinds I’ve never experienced before. And lows of the kind I haven’t … Continue reading 2016: The Year That Was
What if you could run away from your life and assume the life of another? That’s what the protagonist of Daphne du Maurier’s novel yearns for. As a professor, John is well-versed in the French history, but he never does feel that oneness that a Frenchman would. He considers himself an outsider, leading a life … Continue reading The Scapegoat by Daphne du Maurier
The first thing that strikes me about Amsterdam during the light of the day is the city's architecture. From historical buildings to canal houses to innovative modern designs, Amsterdam must surely be a delight for design lovers.
I loved the age when technology could not touch me, could not pervade my senses, could not creep into my personal space. If someone wanted to reach me on the phone, they would leave messages for me on my landline, and I would call back, at my leisure. When friends made plans, we didn't end up … Continue reading A Girl Reduced to a Series of Texts
Not every headache one has is a migraine. Not every headache I have is a migraine. It's a pity though that people will sometimes claim they are suffering from a migraine when it is, in most likelihood, just a bad headache. A migraine is a lot more than the usual ache at the end of a … Continue reading A Migraine isn’t Just a Headache
So this post is going to be one long rant about everything that is not so good in my life at the moment. Yes, it's a journey into self-pity. Long years past, a then good friend of mine told me, on one of my 'feeling-blue' days, that I was simply wallowing in self-pity. Him saying that … Continue reading On Mute
It's a blind date (or the version of blind dates that exist in 2016). It's the first time the girl is meeting the guy. Girl in pink pants, golden shoes. Guy: You're flamboyant Girl rolls her eyes. You're judgemental. She thinks to herself. Guy: Wow, that's a designer watch you're wearing. You like watches? Girl: Yes, … Continue reading #OneLoveStory Blocked
How is it that it becomes the ultimate pursuit of life? As if we are reading our own life's stories and skimming through all the pages, skipping paragraphs, flipping pages in a hurry, just to reach the end that says "happily ever after". I grew up reading fairy-tales. And I believed them. In all sincerity. I … Continue reading A Happy Ending?
I don't want a happily ever after; I want a happy every day
Dear Diary, I can't remember what you look like! I left you somewhere three weeks ago, and now, no matter where I look, I can't seem to find you. You contained all of my heart; everything I ever thought that I wanted to write, I penned it in, in you. But I left you by … Continue reading Where are you?
This is the day I make my way to the continent. I'm fascinated at the idea of crossing the English Channel, it's something I've wanted to do since I was 10.
9 a.m. and I'm in front of the Big Ben. There's something surreal about capturing that moment, the imprint of that exact time. That hour of the first day of the week when I should be holed up in my cubicle, encased in a glass building. But I'm not. Not on this Monday at least.
This city mesmerizes me. I made my first visit to London last year in September. I'm here again just over a year later.
If there's one new year resolution I make each year (and since 2013 I've taken it more seriously than previously), it is to read 50 books a year. Paperbacks. Ebooks. First-time reads. Reading a favourite again. Living my days in 1,000 page tomes or indulging in 100 page novellas that I can get through in … Continue reading Awful Reading Count
A holiday in Europe - something that has long been on my bucket list, about to get crossed off.
S.B. - No Friday evening is complete without you. Or Thursday. Or Wednesday. The Setting: A bistro The Hour: Just the one when you dine The mind wanders. To the next table. A regular guy, a regular girl. Friday night. Date night? We don't know. So I begin a game with S.B. How will the … Continue reading #OneLoveStory Unlocked
One of my very good friends once told me that to truly connect with someone, you must assess three types of attachment - physical, mental and emotional. The same friend also said that to truly discover a person you must converse with them in three ways - meet them in person, talk to them over the phone and text … Continue reading An Accidental Connection
For lost one-sided love For lost unrestrained laughter at the pretend miseries of friends For lost self-deprecating humour For lost faith in myself when I disappoint someone For lost innocence of my childhood For lost opportunities of saying "I miss you", "I love you", "Goodbye"
I tasted the ocean, and never had life felt as intense as it did in that moment of dying
*This book review contains spoilers* George R.R. Martin. You love him and then you hate him. Eventually you do love him. But it drives me crazy that this book is not a sequel to his last one; it runs in parallel instead. So the chapter about Jon which is really happening in sequence somewhere in … Continue reading A Dance with Dragons: Dreams and Dust by George R.R. Martin
Mikael Blomkvist is a respected journalist in the Swedish circles. But a case involving a businessman turns bitter, when Mikael is unable to defend himself in court and prove the allegations he has penned in his article. With his career sliding down, Mikael has every intention of going into exile and that's when an intriguing opportunity … Continue reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
The year - 1998. The headline - Clinton Accused of Urging Aide to Lie. A seemingly innocuous statement. Politicians after all seem to be surrounded by tales of lies and deceit. But this headline from the Washington Post, was the spark that ignited the scandal that caused the impeachment of a President. What happened to the woman in … Continue reading Patient Zero of Internet Shaming
Well, that’s not what would have immediately come to your mind if you were to think of Adolf Hitler. Seventy years since his death, the very word Hitler continues to remain synonymous with uncontrolled tyranny, unwarranted violence and unjustified racism. But before all the hatred and bitterness in him was invading other nations and wrecking havoc … Continue reading A Tramp in Vienna
**This book review contains spoilers** Plot: Honor Harris is a strong heroine, one of a rare quality. She makes an early enemy of her sister-in-law Gartred Grenvile, and would have been destined to always stand in opposition to the Grenviles, had it not been her fate to fall in love with Gartred's brother Richard, at … Continue reading The King’s General by Daphne du Maurier
Some would call it an hour in the dead of the night, but for me, on most nights, this is the hour when I feel most alive. There is absolute silence, with an occasional bark of a dog or the screech of a car being driven by a hasty driver, shattering the quiet. But I … Continue reading Bewitching Hour
You have experienced enough of life to understand that all things are transitory. That which makes you miserable slowly goes away and that which hearten you, goes away…perhaps a little too quickly. Yet the one thing you never prepare yourself for, and what sane person would, is for the passing of a loved one. Aren’t … Continue reading A Eulogy – Dedicated to my Grandma
Abandon: a thorough yielding to natural impulses; especially : enthusiasm, exuberance "With absolute abandon, I wanna dance tonight In the dead of night, under the moonlight Skirts gathered in my hand, rustling and falling apart With absolute abandon, I wanna drink tonight Upon the ocean, boat swaying in motion Hair cascading down my back, lifting … Continue reading Abandon
... we would be a really long one. With a slight edge of grey, a lining of silver strewn on the edges. Perhaps a light drizzle, not the kind to make you feel gloomy, but the kind that takes away your pain. The streets would be nearly empty; people scattered and far in between. It … Continue reading If we were a day…
I made myself promise that I would write more consistently, with as much vigour as I used to during college. I have been tuned to rationalise most acts that occupy my energy and time. So this is what I came up with when I asked myself why in the world should I display any enthusiasm … Continue reading Why Write?
I let myself bleed freely though discreetly Till none is left but a numb, plastic feel Then how is it that when he walks by, Without me even turning my head, My heart begins to thud uncontrollably? Any who would hear my tale, Would seek to advice me against And do I not myself … Continue reading A numb, plastic feel
...like a wound inflicted by an enemy, in distaste, not in haste but slowly, as if the longer the torture, better the torment. Why should I be trapped such? Shall peace never be mine again? Must I spoil something that doesn't even exist yet? If laughter I could have and a little warmth perhaps I … Continue reading It stabs
In silken prose and with subtle suspense, Nina Schuyler brings us a mesmerizing novel of language and translation, memory loss and heartbreak, and the search for answers in a foreign country. When renowned translator Hanne Schubert falls down a flight of stairs, her injury is an unusual but real condition--the loss of her native language. … Continue reading The Translator by Nina Schuyler
A beautiful story of two men, wanderers, who shuttle from town to town to work at ranches. George and Lenny are an odd couple, one of those who needs to look out for each other. George is an average guy with dreams of his land. Lenny, strongly built, is the slow one, slow at understanding … Continue reading Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
It feeds you, it leads you and just when you think things are perfect it begins to kill you. You don’t fail to find happiness. Even the smallest things will delight you. But slowly and surely life begins to creep up on you. All those moments, when you felt blessed are flicked away, like the way … Continue reading Here’s the thing about life…
“Wow! You’re so pretty! What a lovely scarf you’ve got on.” She says all this in impeccable English. No grammatical errors, no hesitation on her part. English isn’t her first language. Nor her second. In fact, she doesn’t know much English beyond this. The only reason she speaks the language is because I do. She … Continue reading Alms for the Poor
What of the world and the conversations to be had? Of the incessant, noisy chatter and gossips Of who said what to whom and why Leave me out of such social settings That require me to watch my dresses Perhaps, even my weight I'm of another world, right here, Curled up with this tome of … Continue reading On My Love of Reading (NaPoWriMo #6)
Crush my dreams, why don’t you? Stomp on, tear them, break it and then set it on fire Let them be reduced to ashes enough So that I can’t get to them again Then when my mind is free from such clutter Let it be painted with your precious advice For what worked … Continue reading Crush my Dreams (NaPoWriMo #5)
You pushed, I pulled. You ran, I chased. You hid, I found. You cheated, I forgave. You forgot, I reminded. You detested, I loved it. You gave up, I tried. You left me, I stayed. I say all these things in the cafe While your tears mix into your coffee You say you don't believe … Continue reading Dare I Turn Around and Look? (NaPoWriMo #4)
The sweetest song is yet to be sung For I am yet to meet my knight in shining armour (or one dressed in rags, I'm not particular, really) And I am yet to fall in love with him From his words and from his deeds I'm yet to seek the inspiration I need To compose … Continue reading The Sweetest Song is Yet to be Sung (NaPoWriMo #3)
Imagine a girl named Memwemchuk A name that has you laughing till your sides hurt You wonder why her parents would name her that And you wonder if Memwemchuk even means anything You wonder for a day, a week, a month And then a year later she tells you 'My name isn't Memwemchuk' And … Continue reading A Girl Named Memwemchuk (NaPoWriMo #2)
I'm participating in NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month) this April, and I'm super-excited! I have to devote myself to writing a poem a day and I've no idea how sincerely I can keep up and whether my creative juices will keep flowing that frequently, but I'm attempting it all the same. Here's Day 01 Verse... … Continue reading Being Me (NaPoWriMo #1)
There are nights like these, few and far in between, when I stop and stare.. stare and give myself up to that part of the night that has nothing to do with me. It is a night you want to enjoy alone and yet you're not lonely. It is a night when you just leave … Continue reading Stop and Stare
Just like in a full bloom A wind rustles the leaves Oh so gentle! Oh so musical their passage! In the next moment, just like that With a force a little more than they can handle The wind tears them apart from their branches Then these leaves flutter about Lost as they were Now … Continue reading In Full Bloom
Shit. He has changed so much! And not just in appearance she thought. When she walked in she gave him a casual hug, which he didn’t respond to very well. Maybe I should have just shaken his hand. Or simply said hello. I shouldn’t have touched him. I shall never ever again make physical contact … Continue reading Small Talk
There is a mind I know I know it all too well ‘coz I got stuck up there And couldn’t find a way out. Every time I made an escape I got sucked into the vortex For I was born with this mind And with it I had to live I thought, ‘What if, I … Continue reading Mind Games
I went partying to a party where there were many a drinks and dances and I loved the twirls and the swirls while envious people were held up outside I enjoyed the music that vibrated through my spine And learnt to tap dance too I loved the lighting of the place That set in me … Continue reading To A Party
I have trouble dealing with my reality sometimes. Everything “outside” of me seems to be amiss. This is what happens when you stop being someone else’s responsibility (like a parent’s well-protected child) and get a life of your own. There is only one thing that I truly dislike about myself. Not my life. Not me. … Continue reading A Reality Check
I was blessed. He was cursed. Even though we were born together. They threw him out after cutting him from the womb. They kept me. I took him back in, decades later and let him cry on my shoulder. Then I took a knife and gently pierced it into my mother’s womb.
At first, he wanted to make it quick, one slash and a burst of fountain, twenty minutes to the end. But when he began working, he did it very slowly. A trickle at a time. Hours to the end. With each passing second, the feeling of life grew stronger. As it escaped from his wrists.
He did not have a name. Well, he was a rat, you don’t really expect the rat community to name their offspring at birth! Well, let’s say you are a kid who insists on this rat having a name, then I name him…Dolby. So Dolby was a rat who lived in the sewers in the … Continue reading The Rat Lord
‘Father, why have you abandoned me?’ His pleas went unheard. None of his friends stood by him. The promises of giving up their lives for his sake, were broken without even so much as a thought and they all abandoned him, each lucky to save his own skin. Guilt would overtake them later, and they … Continue reading I Never Did Abandon You
If I posted all my love notes right here And told you, you were my love Would you love me then? And if you told me you loved me And I said it was too late now Would you hate me then? Because if you could just hate me Maybe then I could stop … Continue reading If I Told You
I have in my life so far been witness to a number of terrorist incidents both in Mumbai and beyond. But nothing beats the nightmare that began 20 hours earlier. The sheer plan of action being executed by the terrorists seems brazen. Fanned out across South Mumbai targeting a hospital, a café, a railway station, … Continue reading 26/11
Now you freeze me... And I can feel my bones, my flesh go raw And memories of warmth and heat come Gushing to me, teasing me For they lie in a time far from now And this wait makes me yearn, ... while you continue to freeze me
You are there holding your lover’s hand What’s stoping you from telling them ‘I Love You’? You’re on the phone with your best friend What’s stopping you from telling them ‘I Treasure You’? You’re listening to your mom talk about her housing tips What’s stopping you from telling her ‘I Miss You’? In the darkest … Continue reading What’s Stopping You?
It's that stifling feeling again. This time it's due to lack of association… new place, new people, graver acts, stranger gossip. It's that feeling of being inside a bubble, watching a show from outside my own body. It's the feeling of insecurity, of being one in too much of a crowd. It's more than wanting … Continue reading Boxed In
Lost in your embrace, I can't seem to remember The last time I cried, The last time I felt pain. Yet, here I am Crying my heart out, As if nothing could be worse, Nothing else could break me. Why can't we just stand still Like this, forever? Why must time Betray us like this? … Continue reading And Time Betrays Us
Whence comes this time? Where I have learned & lost, Labored, pained, cried, Laughed, smiled, loved, Hated, detested, bitched Been an angel & decayed I will dig up this time Never to recall it, perhaps, But there is no denying, These have been the most memorable years Of what I’ve lived thus far
Bereavement from a loved one tears at one’s heart. It leaves behind a trail of memories in its wake and an emptiness inside. There are tears, ‘what if’s’ and recalls from the past. To lose Gloria is like having lost my baby. Being with her for 7 years, ever since she was about a month … Continue reading Goodbye Gloria
This was written in connection with something I do not wish to elaborate… but it's the first sign of my defiance attitude…or shall I say… 'I don’t care if I end up in the drain, as long as I'm smug and my mind is at peace.' Its something only those with rebel instincts would understand... … Continue reading This Little Beast of Mine
It’s nearly the dusk of this year. As will always be, the earth will continue its cycle of orbiting around the sun (unless it’s that damned time when the universe begins to disintegrate), ushering in heat, rain & snow (if I don’t include the global warming aspect), all with the turn of the year. For … Continue reading 2007: The Year That Was
The traffic is always non-existent On the other side of the road The queue next to you Always moves faster The sky is always clouded Just when you want sunshine And it gets freaking hot When you in mood for a cool outing Isn’t it a wonder? That at times, The world starts taking a … Continue reading On the Other Side
I look at you looking at me And I know what’s on your mind Through your eyes and mine You wish to see the world tonight But why oh why Can’t this be true? Why can’t I love you? What’s that line in between? It’s your world against mine In my lap Rests your head … Continue reading It’s Your World Against Mine
I guess, just about everyone has 'one of those days', which I define as far from being happy, more precisely, (just to be subtle) gloomy days. What one feels (& thinks) could be extremely variable but there is no doubt, that for all, it's like looking down into an abyss of void. I have given … Continue reading The Lifeless Body
There was this time more than a decade ago, when I was completely care-free, full of life. The day began on an eager note and went by, as I frolicked about loving everything that came my way. My imagination then was limited but I kept accumulating my day’s thoughts at the back of my mind, … Continue reading The Age of Reason
You plague my heart, The poor unsuspecting cupid of a thing You tempt and torment it And make every beat of it Dance to your tunes How do I break free? How do I unchain it? You have bound it with barbed wires The more I struggle to break it free The more wounded it … Continue reading Playing Cupid
I shall rip off all these clothes and bare myself And stand naked before you, the true self that I am. But to do that needs courage And I lack it. Not that I do not trust you, But that I love you. And if I bare myself You will see all that I’m not … Continue reading Let Me Be
And once again I’ll wither away And fall onto the ground. But not one will notice my death And I’ll be gone. With a heart beating They say I’m still alive. But am I? I ask again Coz I feel no life. What happened to those yesteryears? When life was more like life. Unlike these … Continue reading This Life of Mine
All through the day You make me smile And through the nights You make me wonder How beautiful are those eyes That look at me And then pretend to look away How you just stand there Unaware of things you do to me Gently and softly tugging at the strings of my heart And … Continue reading Unspoken Desires
Look into my eyes And you will believe If there is honesty It is in me Listen to my voices And you will believe If there is truth It is in me Look at my actions And you will believe If there is resolution It is in me Look into my heart And you will … Continue reading This Whole Being
Many have seen That mystery unknown Far away in darkness That to others, never has shown All say it is a curse A horrible end to a beautiful stay I believe it is only The rest at the end of a tiring day
The last of the angels are gone Darkness spreads its wings now Hovering over my soul It cries foul Stunned I am by its ugly face That casts its shadow over me Now there is no chance but one It’s time for you to come and deliver me Deliver me from evil And the vice … Continue reading The Last of the Angels
Empty spaces and void Were all for me to see Nothing was how It was meant to be In thunders and storms There were silences In peace and quiet There were noises Faces frolicked When none were around Voices were heard When there was no sound They called me insane And put me behind bars … Continue reading Empty
The flames blow out With the gust of a wind And plunge the world into darkness Without any hint The dead of the night fills With the cries from the cradle As a mother in the corner Fills jars with a ladle ‘Hush my child’, she says, ‘Don’t wake up the sleeping ones, If they … Continue reading In the Dead of the Dark
Lost in the wilderness of love With not a being in sight All around is darkness now Not a spark of light She walks barefoot On the roads of this land Which were laid with roses once Now reduced to sand No wrong she had ever done Or sinned against anyone All her fault was … Continue reading Lost in the Wilderness