It’s that stifling feeling again. This time it’s due to lack of association… new place, new people, graver acts, stranger gossip. It’s that feeling of being inside a bubble, watching a show from outside my own body. It’s the feeling of insecurity, of being one in too much of a crowd. It’s more than wanting to create an identity in this multitude, it’s about being able to identify myself in the first place.
It’s always been the new that’s ushered in the sense of losing control. Of course, lessons learnt after the completion of the circle have always been a stronghold. But that bit comes in later. It’s for now that this seems to be a battle and that too a lost one. There is nothing like being where I am right now. It’s great. There is no denying that people fight to get here. And I got in smoothly. I’m not regretting or wanting to go back. But this newness of things gets onto my nerves. When the heck will I learn?